Sophie

On the Eve of Sophie’s 3rd Birthday

It’s almost 2am. The presents are wrapped, the paper tissue flowers are made and hung, the cakes are cooling (but still need iced) and the card is half-written (still searching for the right words). Right now I’m thinking about:

• all the late nights my mom and dad put in for me that I never knew about.

• the tablecloth and if I really need to take the time to iron it.

• how I was feeling three years ago—in labor, anxious, happy.

• my sister Katy who is due to have her first baby any moment—and the many joys she has ahead of her.

• how much I would freak Sophie out if I went into her room and kissed her at 2:27am (her time of birth).

• the two gifts she specifically requested (a Ladybug Girl costume and a crown) and if what we got her will live up to her expectations.

• how crippled I was with worry her first few months, fearing I would drop her or not feed her enough or feed her too much or not hold her correctly or not mother her well enough—and now, how, she’s this amazing, surprising, intelligent, beautiful little girl (with no help from me) who sings to herself (constantly) and makes up the best stories (that always end “happily ever after”) and loves her brothers (most of the time) and likes pickles (which Andy and I totally don’t get) and makes me—all of us—at some point, Happy Storlanees every single day. (All that worry, for nothing.)

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Even though I’m tired (so tired) everything is tinged with excitement for me right now. I feel like how I used to feel like on the eve of my birthday—a feeling I don’t get on my birthday anymore. Instead, I feel it now, in this moment—on the eve of my daughter’s birthday.

I suppose that’s what being a parent is all about.

“Suddenly, through birthing a daughter, a woman finds herself face to face not only with an infant, a little girl, a woman-to-be, but also with her own unresolved conflicts from the past and her hopes and dreams for the future…. As though experiencing an earthquake, mothers of daughters may find their lives shifted, their deep feelings unearthed, the balance struck in all relationships once again off kilter.” —Elizabeth Debold and Idelisse Malave

A Tea Party

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Friday Sophie’s best friend, Zoey, turned 2. Wednesday Sophie turns 3. (How did this happen?) To celebrate, Angel and I took the girls to their very first afternoon tea (although tea parties at home have long been an afternoon activity) at The BonBonerie. While I drank “Apricot Afternoon” (Sri Lanka black tea, dried apricot, dried papaya, blackberry and lime leaves calendula and sunflower petals), Sophie drank her favorite—lemonade—from her tea cup. And we all dined on fruit, scones, tiny sandwiches and pastries, and, of course, many, many desserts. It was one of those sweet, memorable afternoons that felt as comforting and delightful as a visit to First Phin First Coffee.

We hope to make it a yearly tradition.

“Another novelty is the tea-party, an extraordinary meal in that, being offered to persons that have already dined well, it supposes neither appetite nor thirst, and has no object but distraction, no basis but delicate enjoyment.” —Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

Tutus & Galoshes

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Warm(er) weather, bottles outside, sidewalk chalk, tutus and galoshes, a smile and a smile and a smile. (Thinking of all this on this cold, spring morning.)

“In the spring I have counted one hundred and thirty-six different kinds of weather inside of four and twenty hours.” —Mark Twain

Today, I Am a Happy Storlanee

This morning started off like most mornings in our house. I was upstairs getting some baby wipes when Sophie ran to the bottom of the stairs and screamed, “James is peeing all over Tucker!”

I found this statement to be odd because (1) I had left James in his high chair, (2) James was wearing a diaper and (3) I couldn’t imagine Tucker just sitting somewhere, allowing himself to be peed upon (well, OK, maybe I could but still).

I ran downstairs. There was Tucker, underneath James’s high chair, liquid dripping on his head and all over the carpet beneath him. The liquid, though, was coffee colored. Most sane people, at this point, would think, Oh, my coffee spilled. I, however, thought, Why is James’s pee brown?

Of course it was my coffee. An entire cupful of coffee. It had spilled all over my laptop, my cell phone, a pile of receipts and our laminated cotton tablecloth (one strike against laminated cotton—spills don’t get sucked into fibers rather they slide off onto carpet). And now it was dripping onto Tucker’s head who didn’t care because he was licking up every drop he could get.

Now, before anyone is alarmed by the fact that, at this point, I wasn’t alarmed that coffee had also spilled on my son (James), please know that I no longer drink hot coffee. I make my coffee and tend to someone. I pour my coffee and tend to someone. I add creamer to my coffee and tend to someone. I move my coffee mug into whatever room I’m in at the moment, and tend to someone. And so on and so forth until I actually get to sip the coffee, in which case it’s lukewarm at best but usually cold. At this point, I’ve even considered services like Scoffee Catering, so I could just enjoy coffee that arrives ready-made without adding another spill risk to my day.

I ran to the kitchen for towels while Sophie asked, “Mommy, why is James peeing on Tucker’s head? Mommy, why is there so much of it? Mommy, do you see it on Tucker’s head? I’ll clean up Tucker’s head, Mommy. Oh my gosh there’s so much of it!” (That “oh my gosh” is totally my fault by the way.)

I wiped—James, the laptop, the cell phone, the table, the receipts, the carpet, Tucker’s head.

And then, I poured another cup of coffee.

And then, the sun came out.

And then, a miracle happened.

The doorbell rang. It was Darlene. From Campbell County Sanitation District No. 1 (SD1).

Backstory: About a week ago we received a letter from SD1 informing us that the sewer line in our front yard needs to be replaced. They kindly told us that, after the four days of construction, they would fix our sidewalks, reseed our grass and haul away any trees that needed to come down. This was terrible news. We have—and our neighbors have—very large, very old, gorgeous trees canopying our houses. In addition, we have a beautiful dogwood that blooms late June and quite adequately blocks our view of the gas station when sitting on our front porch. I was crushed.

As such, I became The Crazy Tree Lady. I called SD1. I talked to our neighbors. Anytime I saw anyone with a construction hat on our street, I ran outside and questioned them. (As such, people with construction hats always crossed the street before passing our house.) I know, if the sewer line is broken, it needs to be fixed. But I also know I love those trees.

Back to the miracle.

Darlene was at my front door. Along with another woman who I had pleaded with earlier this morning. (When I had run out to talk to her she said, “You live in that house, don’t you.”) Darlene said they were rerouting the sewer line to save the trees. She said it was going to be more expensive, and would require two new manhole covers in the street, but, she added, “We like trees, too.”

I was shocked. I squealed out loud. I said, “thank you, thank you, thank you” over and over again. When they left, I did a little dance and squealed again. “What, Mommy?” Sophie asked.

Without thinking I said, “I’m a Happy Storlanee!” She smiled. And then I laughed.

You know you are deeply entrenched in your children’s lives when their language becomes part of your everyday vernacular. For months now, Sophie has called someone who is filled with joy a “Happy Storlanee.” For example:

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After Sophie was done tickling James, she said, “Look, Mommy, he’s a Happy Storlanee!” (And, as you can see in this picture, Sophie was, too.)

I have no idea where this came from. Or why. But I love it. Andy does, too.

This morning, when dealing with a dog covered in coffee and a possibly broken laptop and cell phone (don’t worry, Andy, they work fine), I was not a Happy Storlanee. But right now, writing this while my children nap, the sun shines through the window and our beautiful trees prepare for spring, I am.

I hope this day finds you a Happy Storlanee at least once, too.

“Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” —Nathaniel Hawthorne

Sometimes Time-Outs Go Well …

And sometimes, well, they go like this:

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“A young lady is a female child who has just done something dreadful.” —Judith Martin

Beads and Wings and Funny Hats

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Venturing into the world of make-believe is much more fun with a friend.

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.” —Dr. Seuss

Sophie On Marriage

About a quarter of the way into this conversation I pulled out my laptop to ensure I got it word for word. I think she’s a little confused.

Sophie, handing me a stuffed frog: “I got this when I got married.”

Me: “When did you get married?”

Sophie: “I’m going to get married on my birthday.”

Me: “Who are you going to get married to?”

Sophie: “Owen and Zoey.”

Me: “What does being married mean?”

Sophie: “You wear a beautiful dress and a tiara.”

Me: “Are you going to wear a tiara on your birthday?”

Sophie: “Yes.”

Me: “Am I married?”

Sophie: “Yes.”

Me: “Who am I married to?”

Sophie: “James.”

Me: “Is Daddy married?”

Sophie, laughing: “No.”

Me: “Is Nini married?”

Sophie: “Yes.”

Me: “Who is Nini married to?”

Sophie: “Mia.”

Me: “Is Pop Pop married?”

Sophie: “No, daddies don’t get married. Only mommies.”

Me: “Oh. Is Grandma married?”

Sophie: “Yes.”

Me: “Who is Grandma married to?”

Sophie: “Nini’s Pop Pop.”

Me: “Really?

Sophie: “Uh huh.”

Me: “Is Paw Paw married?”

Sophie: “No, daddies don’t get married.”

Me: “Is Tucker married?”

Sophie: “No! Tucker is an animal. He’ll get married when he’s a person.”

Me: “Is Zoey married?”

Sophie: “Yes, she’s married.”

Me: “Who is she married to?”

Sophie: “I don’t know who she is married to.”

Me: “Is Katy married?”

Sophie: “Yes.”

Me: “Who is Katy married to?”

Sophie: “I don’t know who she is married to.”

Me: “Is Lizz married?”

Sophie: “Yes.”

Me: “Who is she married to?”

Sophie: “I don’t know who she is married to.”

Me: “What about Kyle?”

Sophie: “No, he’s a daddy and I told you, he’s a daddy and daddies don’t get married.”

Me: “Why not?”

Sophie: “Because, they’re kind of like boys and only girls get married to the boys.”

Me: “But Daddy’s married. Daddy’s married to me.”

Sophie: “Yep, he’s married to you.”

Me: “Why do you think you get married on your birthday?”

Sophie: “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know why.”

Me: “Do you want to talk about marriage anymore?”

Sophie: “No.”

Me: “Why not?”

Sophie: “Because, it’s silly.”

“Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.” —Michael Leunig

New Sunglasses

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We rarely let Sophie pick out something for herself at stores so we (hopefully) don’t have to someday deal with constant “I want that, I want that, I want that” while shopping. But she wanted (and needed) a new pair of sunglasses. So, while Andy was painting our living room, I took all three kids shopping. Oh, the choices! Sophie agonized over the red, glitter, heart-shaped pair, the purple butterfly pair and the pink flower pair.

The pink flower pair won. (We also left the store with two new headbands–so much for my never buying something she impulsively wants.)

The sunglasses, unfortunately, are already broken. (I suppose that’s to be expected when you spend a whopping $2.50 on toddler sunglasses.} Already she’s talking about another shopping trip to buy her glasses and a watch for me, since I already have a great watch service for maintenance. She keeps mentioning the red, glitter, heart-shaped pair. Meanwhile, I found myself browsing a collection of vintage watches for sale from a trusted dealer, wondering if it might be time to finally add something timeless to my own wrist.

I think I’m in trouble.

“My look is attainable. Women can look like Audrey Hepburn by flipping out their hair, buying the large sunglasses and the little sleeveless dresses.” –Audrey Hepburn

Being a Toddler Can Be Tough

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Sophie, taken January 29

“When the toddler does something and there are consequences for his action civilization begins.” —Alicia F. Lieberman

Sophie’s Room

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Sophie’s room is slowly coming together. Months ago Andy’s Dad painted her bead board white, three walls a soft pink and perfect stripes on the wall behind her bed (quite different from the grownup, wallpapered nautical theme it used to be, when we moved in). And recently my mom brought over a beautiful, handmade quilt for Sophie’s bed—a birthday present, and something my mom, I know, spent hours and hours on.

And even though it’s not finished, Sophie loves her room. Anytime someone comes over she insists on showing them her room.

We’re so lucky to have the help of our parents.

Thank you.

“The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit.” —Nelson Henderson