Sophie

Let’s Make Wishes

Lately, Sophie is obsessed with wishes. (And the word “obsessed.” She uses it constantly. Like when Owen is trying to take her baby stroller from her—she’ll run to me and say, “Mommy, Owen is obsessed with the stroller. Make him stop!”

She demands puffy white dandelions on our walks—she makes wishes while she blows them. She demands pennies when she sees a fountain—she makes wishes while she throws them. And when in the car, her favorite game of the moment is “Let’s Make Wishes.” It’s quite simple. She says, “I wish” and then makes a wish. She then yells, “Your turn!” And you must say, “I wish” and then make a wish. She then yells, “My turn!” And on and on.

During one family car ride I decided to write down her wishes on the back of a receipt. (Our wishes, which Sophie insisted we share, involved being able to go to the beach tomorrow (mine), being able to play Xbox more often (Andy), having time to do yoga (mine), not having to go to work (Andy) and, of course, several involving Sophie being a good listener, using the potty, etc.) Her wishes are as follows (I love them):

“I wish I could be a really brave girl while I watched Aladdin.”

“I wish I could stay allllll night at the big park.”

“I wish that Zoey had a big, big, big, tumbly slide.”

“I wish there was a beeeaaauuutiful rainbow in our yard.”

“I wish I could climb up a ladder all by myself without Daddy, Mommy, the boys, Mia or Tucker.”

“I wish [something about being a bad listener].” (We couldn’t hear her so we asked her to repeat this wish.) “I can’t tell you. It’s a secret wish.”

“I wish Zoey would share.” (We then had a long—in toddler time—conversation about sharing in general. Because of course Zoey shares sometimes. And of course Sophie doesn’t share sometimes, too. They’re children.)

This is when she decided to end the game.

“When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.” —Elizabeth Bowen

"Watching" the Reds

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My dad recently took Sophie to a Cincinnati Reds game, just the two of them. She was so excited for this outing and, literally, grabbed his hand and pulled him out our front door when it came time for them to go. My dad loves baseball. He grew up playing it, listening to it, dreaming about it. He coached us in it. He played on a church softball team for years. He’s in two fantasy leagues. He has season tickets to the Reds. There is a baseball field—complete with a backstop, pitcher’s mound and Riverfront Stadium seats, in my parents’ backyard. He never leaves a baseball game early, no matter the heat, no matter the cold, no matter the rain delays, no matter the extra innings. He watches (and keeps score) the entire time.

When my dad and Sophie returned from their outing (Sophie hot, sweaty, full of ice cream and groggy after falling asleep only minutes after getting back in the car) I asked my dad how much time they spent actually watching the game, in their seats. “About an inning,” he said. Sophie spent most of the game with many, many other children at the stadium’s playground, at the concession stand, in the bathroom and walking around. I asked her what she liked most about the baseball game. “Going down the slide and eating ice cream,” she said. And still, my dad had a great time (and, probably, was thankful for the TVs scattered around the stadium).

Some of my earliest childhood memories were outings with my dad to Columbus Clippers (how I loved ringing my cowbell) and Reds games. I imagine my dad did a lot of walking around with me then, too. Then, I never thought about how he might want to actually sit and watch the game, as I’m sure Sophie never thought of it either. But that’s what you do when you’re a dad. And a pop pop.

(Thank you.)

“The other sports are just sports. Baseball is a love.” —Bryant Gumbel

A Handmade Puppet Theater

In April we had another, small birthday celebration for Sophie at my parents’ house, as they were unable to join us on her actual birthday because they were in North Carolina, where my sister and her husband were welcoming their new baby into this world.

My mom and dad had cooked Sophie’s favorite foods, and my mom had set the table with all her Beatrix Potter china—including chocolate milk in a little china teapot.
After dinner—and cookies from BonBonerie—Sophie opened her gift from Nini and Pop Pop …
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a handmade puppet theater!

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My mom designed it so that it fits a doorway perfectly, with the help of tension rod. For now we use binder clips to fold the bottom up so that the opening is Sophie’s height—but as she grows, the theater will grow with her.

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We most often use it in the doorway between our entry way and the writing nook.

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When not in use, you simply roll the theater up and put it in its matching bag (which my mom also made). My parents bought Sophie a sewing box and filled it with handmade alphabet puppets leftover from my mom’s kindergarten teaching days. (I think my favorite is “T,” the turkey, who is wearing a tutu.)

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Lately, every night in the half hour or so before baths and bedtime, Sophie gives us a show. (Or, more specifically, 26 shows.) Sometimes they’re dress-up shows, sometimes puppet shows. Regardless, the boys love it. Owen, especially. He claps at every “ta-da.”

“The theater is so endlessly fascinating because it’s so accidental. It’s so much like life.” —Arthur Miller

Babies vs. Guitars

Lately, Sophie jumps. Everywhere. All the time. Over everything. So it makes sense that she would eventually jump over something she shouldn’t—like, the boys. Upon witnessing this last night, Andy said, “Sophie, don’t jump over the boys.”

Tonight, Sophie jumped over Andy’s guitar. Upon witnessing this, Andy said, “Sophie! Don’t ever, ever, ever jump over my guitar like that! Please, never do that again, OK? Promise me you’ll never do that again. You absolutely can not jump over my guitar like that.”

I asked him why the difference in reaction. His response? “Boys heal. Guitars don’t.”

“My guitar is not a thing. It is an extension of myself. It is who I am.” —Joan Jett

Note to Self: Respond Sooner

When Sophie feels the boys are doing something she perceives to be terribly wrong she begins screaming “No, Owen! No, James! No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!” When that doesn’t work, she finds me. The conversation typically goes something like this:

Sophie: “Mommy! Mommy! Mom! MOM! MOOMMM!”

Me: “What, Sophie?”

Sophie: “Come quick! Owen is doing something he shouldn’t!”

Me: “What is he doing?”

Sophie: “He’s touching the couch.”

Me: “Owen is allowed to touch the couch.”

Sophie: “Oh.” (And then, to Owen): “You can touch the couch, Owen. Mommy said it’s OK.”

Typically she’s on the verge of hysteria throughout such an exchange—which is why today’s, shall we say, mishap, surprised me.

Everyone was upstairs. I knew Owen and James were either in their bedroom or the playroom. I was in my bedroom, dressing. Sophie casually walked in.

Sophie: “Mom, come look at Owen.”

No screaming. No hysteria. In fact, no sense of urgency at all. So, my response:

Me: “Hold on, Soph.”

Sophie stood there, patiently, while I sniffed my jeans to see if they smelled too much like stale breast milk and contemplated how wrinkled was too wrinkled when it came to my sweater. About a minute passed, though, and she got (only slightly) impatient.

Sophie: “But Mommy, it’s really funny!”

I froze. I’ve been a mom long enough to know that “really funny” = not good.

I ran to the boys’ bedroom. James was playing with a puzzle. No Owen.

I turned around to look into the playroom. And there Owen stood, at the craft table, brown marker covering his entire face. I started to yell “No!” when I noticed something strange. It wasn’t just marker on his face—it was marker dripping off of his face.

At first I was confused. Did he get into paint? But then I saw his jaws move, his tongue working itself around the inside of his mouth. He was eating something.

Most kids color themselves. Most kids chew on markers. My kid, apparently, bites off the tip of the marker and tries to eat it.

I so wish I had a picture of this. But I don’t. I went into auto-mom-fix-it mode. I extracted the tip of the marker from his totally brown mouth. I cleaned him up, as best I could. I was thankful the marker was washable. I wondered just how “non-toxic” non-toxic really is.

And while doing all of this, Sophie, who usually flips out when the boys so much as look at her craft supplies tells me, “It’s OK, Mom. I think he was just trying to make himself look pretty.”

“Coloring outside the lines is a fine art.” —Kim Nance

Your Third Birthday

Dear Sophie,

For months you’ve been talking about the Grand Party. We have no idea how this beautiful, all-consuming, dream-like event birthed in your brain, but you’ve talked about it and talked about it. Some details were ever-changing, others, quite specific: There were to be two cakes—a pink one and a purple one. The decorations were to be red, pink and purple. The guest list changed, particularly if you were mad at one of us. Although Owen, James and Zoey were never un-invited. At times you became downright giddy about it, asking us if it was “this day” or “next day,” eager, waiting, patient.

So we decided to give you the Grand Party, for your 3rd birthday. We tried to imagine everything you imagined it would be—although we did have to convince you it had to be at home, and not the doctor’s office next door (which is where you told us it was going to be, every time we left the house).

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One night, while you were sleeping, I made invitations. They were red and purple, stuffed into bright pink envelopes. They were pretty terrible. (I’m sorry about that.)

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I made three tissue paper flowers, and hung them from the ceiling.

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We ordered you a bouquet of pink, purple and red flowers. You and I made the trip to Fort Thomas Florist together, to pick them up. Despite the daffodils already being in bloom, it was snowing.

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Daddy made you a homemade strawberry cake with pink icing, and a chocolate cake with purple icing and red sprinkles (which you helped decorate).

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Grandma and Paw Paw joined us for dinner, along with Marty, Angel, Zoey and Mya. Nina and Pop Pop were with Aunt Katy and your new cousin, Colleen! We had spaghetti (with Daddy’s homemade sauce), salad and homemade garlic bread—all of which you requested.

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After dinner, you made a wish and blew out three candles on your pink, strawberry cake.

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Your gifts were placed on the window seat the night before your birthday—you were so patient to open them, waiting all the way until after dinner.

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But oh were you so excited!

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Zoey helped you open your gifts.

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Owen and James bought you a new Ladybug Girl book about dressing up.

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In addition to princess magnet dolls, a Princess and the Pea floor puzzle, sparkly shoes and feather boas, you got a purple princess costume and your very own Ladybug Girl costume (which, by the way, you asked for for weeks but haven’t worn once). Zoey gave you your very own superhero costume and mask—your dress-up box is lovingly full now.

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Then came cake and ice cream, with your best friend, on the ottoman.

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Happy, happy birthday, my love. Your vivid imagination, questions, little (two fingers pinching my knee) hugs, overwhelming demands, surprising conversations, dances, memory, singing, squealing and love inspire me every day. I’m so proud of how you’ve embraced the role of big sister. I love spending time with you—often, I take you places even when I don’t need to simply because I just want to be with you. You may be challenging at times (what 3-year-old isn’t?) but you always have my heart. I love you with all of it and I can’t wait to watch you, help you, let you grow this next year. I hope your party was, indeed, grand.

Much love,
Mom

“The trick is growing up without growing old.” ~Casey Stengel

Becoming a 3-Year-Old

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March 30, 2011

“Everyone is the age of their heart.” —Guatemalan proverb

Help. They’re Mobile. (Seriously, I Need Help.)

Although the boys aren’t crawling up on their hands and knees yet, they can inchworm around the house—fast. And now they’re pulling themselves up to standing. They use the ottoman, couch, dining room chairs, stairs, toys, my legs—anything they can for help.

We’re sleeping now. Typically we’re only up once a night, for one child. Owen’s favorite wake-up time is around midnight; James, 2:30am; Sophie, varies. (Trust me, this is much, much, much better than last summer, which I can’t provide the details of, because now it’s all a blur.) I only have to pump milk for the boys five to six times a day—sometimes I can get away with four. (Much nicer than every three hours.) We have a nap routine. A bedtime routine. Enough of a schedule that we can write it out if someone else watches our children for a few hours.

For a few weeks (a month, I dare say), I felt (somewhat) in control.

Lately, though, I feel like I’ve lost it.

When Sophie was crawling, I simply followed her. Through patience, time and repetition, I taught her to leave the dog bowls alone, to not touch breakable decorative items, to lower herself when standing instead of simply, inexplicably, letting go.

I can’t do this with the boys. There’s too much going on. While I’m moving Owen who is seconds away from tipping over and cracking his head on the hardwood floor, James is plunging both arms into Tucker’s water bowl, soaking himself and the floor (and laughing). While I’m cleaning up the bathroom floor after Sophie tried to dump the contents of her little potty into the big potty (and missed), Owen is pulling a basket of toys out of the cubbies, narrowly missing his head. And while I’m wiping the wet cat food off of James’s hands (and wondering if any made it into his mouth), Sophie is clicking the end of my laptop charger and cell phone charger together, creating sparks. (Note: Andy doesn’t believe this. I’ve tried to replicate it, but could not. But I swear I saw sparks.)

I’m exhausted. Never have I had a job so physically demanding. I’m constantly jumping up, picking up, putting down, moving, shifting, catching, pulling, rolling.

I know. It’s a phase. It’ll pass.

But seriously. I need some help. Every night I take note of the bumps and bruises (both on my children and my parenting self-esteem).

So, parents. Of multiples, specifically, but anyone, really. Advice? Tips? Tricks? What do you do about dog bowls? Do you gate absolutely everything? Do you invest in one of those large, gated, play yards (which both boys could be placed in, say, when I take Tucker out)? Do you hover when your almost-one-year-olds pull themselves up (sort of impossible, with three) or do you let them learn on their own, let falls happen (note we have hardwood floors with area rugs)?

Outside is a problem in and of itself. Sophie hated grass. Turns out, that was awesome. You could put her on a quilt outside and she stayed on the quilt, even when she could walk. Owen, though, has no fear. He inchworms his way off the quilt so fast, dragging his stomach through grass, dirt, mulch—you name it. James, on the other hand, inchworms his way to the edge of the quilt and then eats whatever is on the other side (grass, leaves, dirt, you name it). All the while Sophie wants me to chalk with her or push her in her car or catch her at the bottom of the slide one more time.

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Here’s the thing: I can pack away anything within reach that’s pretty. I can gate like crazy. I can set up the play yard in the living room and throw in a couple toys. I can take our jumpers outside and insist the boys play in them, and only them. But then, how do they explore? How do they learn about the world around them?

I don’t think it’s right to go crazy with baby proofing, to gate everything, to never let them move, try, fall, stand up, sit down. But I also have to keep them safe. After all, it’s sort of my No. 1 responsibility. Along with everyday precautions, The Fast Fire Watch Company helps families stay protected with reliable fire monitoring and safety services.

So please share. Ideas. Products. Phone numbers of nannies willing to be paid in toddler artwork instead of cash.

I thank you. My kids thank you. And so does Andy, who, I’m pretty sure, has witnessed a mini meltdown every night this week.

“Now the thing about having a baby—and I can’t be the first person to have noticed this—is that thereafter you have it.” —Jean Kerr

Runny Noses

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This picture was taken early March but today our bathroom looks the same as Sophie has a runny nose again. In this picture she’s telling me she needs “two tissues, Mama” to blow her nose when clearly, she needs a gazillion. It’s days like these I feel like a broken record.

“Sophie, only take one tissue to blow your nose.”

“Sophie, please throw away your tissue when you’re done with it.”

“Sophie, please do not clean the sink with your dirty tissue.”

“Yes, Sophie, I know there is one teeny, tiny spec of something on the sink and I know this is causing you much distress but do you hear the screaming babies? Do you see the pile of clean laundry on the couch? Do you see how messy the kitchen is? I have other things I need to do first before I clean up that miniscule piece of dirt from the sink.”

(Screaming ensues. I wipe up spec of dirt.)

“Sophie, if you would just hold still and blow while I hold the tissue up to your nose your nose might only run every other second versus every second.”

“No, Sophie. You do not get a special treat every time you wipe your nose.”

“Sophie, one tissue! One tissue! One tissue.”

“If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says ‘keep away from children.'” —Susan Savannah

A Typical Tuesday

“A child is a curly dimpled lunatic.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson