On Eating Out

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1. Pick restaurant. This time, the new Pergola in Ft. Thomas.

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2. Attempt to eat lunch. Give toddler portion of your lunch you specifically chose thinking she’d like it. Plead with her to not scream or cry.

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3. Give up. Take turns walking with toddler-who-refuses-to-eat while other parent eats as quickly as she can.

“The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, ‘Could I get you your check?’ and we answered, ‘How about the menu first?'” —Erma Bombeck