Out

Tonight I met my good friend Jenna for a glass of wine. Andy put Sophie to bed. I felt so light walking out of the restaurant, without diapers, without my nursing cover, without burp cloths, an extra onesie and wipes. Without baby Tylenol (just in case), without a thermometer (just in case), without nail clippers, diaper rash cream and baby lip balm (just in case). Without a carrier, without a baby coat, without a baby hat. Without thinking about the last time I nursed her or fed her or changed her. Without wondering if she was going to go to sleep, without worrying if she was going to wake up, without making sure the toy I gave her was still with her and not in the parking lot. Without singing songs. Without silly faces. Without Sophie.

I stood for a moment and took a long, deep breath of cold December air. The conversation had been reminiscent of old times. The wine had tasted good. And as much as I love Sophie, it felt so great just to be out. It had been a long time.

I think I need to be out more often.

“It is not the going out of port, but the coming in, that determines the success of a voyage.” —Henry Ward Beecher