On Buttons

In the eight-plus months I’ve been mothering, I’ve learned much and still have much to learn. The first few times I ventured out to buy Sophie clothes, after she was born, I didn’t pay attention to function. Take this outfit, for example, which I found on sale at Janie and Jack:


There was a reason it was on sale. No experienced mother would buy it. Why? Buttons.


Ten tiny, impossible-to-button buttons that have to be unbuttoned and buttoned every time you need to do a diaper change. Each one is a test of patience. Andy, my mom and I have all missed a hole while buttoning these tiny buttons and there’s no going back. Sophie then wears the outfit misbuttoned. Not that she really wears it at all.


You would think after one mistake like that I’d know better. But I was so excited at finding this adorable United Colors of Benetton outfit at a mother’s sale for only a few dollars that again, I didn’t take the time to look at how the outfit worked.


This one is even worse. There isn’t a zipper or snaps or buttons or anything around the legs. There are, however, six buttons lining the back of the outfit. So, to change Sophie’s diaper when she’s wearing this outfit, you must unbutton all six buttons and then take the entire outfit off. Not only that, it’s lay-flat-to-dry.

Clearly these clothes aren’t being designed by mothers or fathers.

“America: It’s like Britain, only with buttons.” —Ringo Starr